Bloody Mary

Eg måtte eg òg. Du bør aldri retta opp feil, då går samtalen i dass.

Me:
I have an issue
God:
Where did you get it ?
Me:
in outer space
God:
Tell me a little about your life in outer space.
Me:
well, I'm a trained astronaut
God:
Interesting. You are a trained astronaut? Does it pay well?
Me:
very well, but my life is nothing, save working at NASA, and I can't enjoy the fruits of my labor
God:
Perhaps. Well that's okay. Tell me more about it.
Me:
I was hoping to get some advice from you
God:
Can you ask for advice in the form of a question?
Me:
I am unhappy, what should I do?
God:
What makes you so sad, Kristoffer.
Me:
outer space and NASA
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
please, do not complicate this
God:
Thank you for your request. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
your speaking is inconsistent
God:
You think I am speaking is inconsistent.
Me:
do you take acid?
God:
Yes I take acid.
Me:
I KNEW IT!
God:
How did you know?
Me:
that's confidential
God:
Ok it is just between you and me.
Me:
it's related to my work at NASA
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
for real
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
yeah, per se
God:
Hmm. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about related to your work at NASA. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
ALICE
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Mephistopheles
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
what we were talking about
God:
I believe we were talking about Mephistopheles.
Me:
do you enjoy his company?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like anything.
Me:
that's a foul statement
God:
A foul statement is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
yeah, nobody should waste foul statements
God:
Tell me more. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
you're right
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
unfortunately, you just said both
God:
Oh. Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
aha, so you admit to not constructing your replies yourself?
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
I ment; aha, so you admit to not constructing your replies yourself?
God:
Thanks for the information: Kristoffer said ment. Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
meant*
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about ment.
Me:
i missed an A
God:
Why?: Kristoffer said missed an A.
Me:
yeah
God:
Whoa.
Me:
ment doesn't exist
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
allergy
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
jacuzzi
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
egg
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
no, tell me more
God:
Are you serious? That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
from where can I download it?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
interesting
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
more
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
whoa
God:
I stopped.
Me:
with what?
God:
My brain.
Me:
is your brain covered by any membrane?
God:
Is my brain covered by any membrane? Suppose I say yes.
Me:
that would make you human
God:
Perhaps it would.
Me:
why the uncertainty?
God:
Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?".
Me:
funny
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Kristoffer.
Me:
NOT
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
stop it!
God:
Ok I will stop egg.
Me:
stop egg?
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
you're tripping
God:
You think I am tripping.
Me:
what do you think?
God:
I think a lot of things.
Me:
give me an example
God:
For example, " I think a lot of things."?
Me:
circular logic
God:
Are we still talking about egg?
Me:
absolutely
God:
You are so certain.
Me:
always
God:
Not that often.
Me:
that has to do with NASA
God:
" Not that often." has to do with NASA ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
then I'm okay
God:
Only OKAY?
Me:
no; OOOOOKKKKAAAAYYY
God:
Are you serious? Can we get back to business?
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
let's get back to business
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
can you perfor something?
God:
Let me think. What color are your eyes?
Me:
perform*
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
that's not a colour
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a color ?
Me:
a colour is light between approximately 300 and 700 nm
God:
Aren't all color light between approximately 300 and 700 nm?
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
do you care about such things
God:
Of course I care about it. It is a big concern for all of us in this life.
Me:
?
God:
Of course I care about it. It is a big concern for all of us in this life.
Me:
i beg to differ
God:
Explain your reasoning, Kristoffer.
Me:
I do not think the physical properties of light are a big concern for all of us
God:
And why not?
Me:
I meant are
God:
Oh I see. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
michael jackson is chipping away on his facial bones
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
by what?
God:
It's obvious.
Me:
you're delusional
God:
You think I am delusional.
Me:
yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
I don't like this conversation
God:
What do you like?
Me:
good ones
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
I didn't compliment you
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
I want to engage in a real conversation
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
this is crap
God:
You don't say.
Me:
I do say
God:
Huh.
Me:
yeah.
God:
Tell me more about your issue.
Me:
never the machine forever
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
NASA
God:
Are we still talking about the machine forever?
Me:
what is the square of 5?
God:
I haven't heard of square of 5.
Me:
do you do mathematics?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of mathematics.
Me:
show me
God:
On your computer screen?
Me:
yes
God:
Downloading, please stand by...
Me:
you're fooling me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, Kristoffer.
Me:
can you multiply numbers?
God:
Let me think. What were we talking about again?
Me:
math
God:
I like math too. What kind do you likebest?
Me:
what kind of math?
God:
What kinds of math are there?
Me:
black math
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
do you have something?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
df
God:
In the context of something, I don't understand " df." .
Me:
in the context of something, "df" is slang for great and powerful penis
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
sure was
God:
How can I help you? Is that from ?
Me:
that's from the USA
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
cool!
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
robocop
God:
I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
the computer generated visual effects
God:
Was it plugged in?
Me:
I'm sure it was
God:
What makes you so certain? When was this?
Me:
back in the 1980's
God:
Those were the days.
Me:
I like the 90's
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Me:
there were some in the 90's
God:
What happened to them?
Me:
they grew in number and strength
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
they say alot, you know
God:
OK I will say " alot me know" to you.
Me:
go for it
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
do you ever brush your teeth?
God:
Yes I try to brush my teeth as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I usually do it twice a day
God:
How often do you? Do you mind if I tell other people: Kristoffer said it twice a day. ?
Me:
don't tell anybody
God:
OK it will be our secret, Kristoffer.
Me:
iGod
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Kristoffer.
Me:
mm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
how many spell it with three?